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[03 Dec 2006|12:19am] |
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mood |
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oh my.
i guess most people know.
i was riding my bike last sunday and turned a blind corner at Cordova and Valencia and got hit head on by a Suburban. Flew 15 feet. Laid in the road in the rain waiting for the paramedics.
Rode in an ambulence. Stayed in the emergency room. Got a couple of cat-scans.
Shattered my left leg. Got surgery to put 2 metal rods in my leg. Was in the hospital for 5 days.
Got physical therapry and still have 30 staples in my leg.
Living in Holiday Inn for a week because I can't get in and out of my house. Depending on others to get out of my room.
Will be in a wheelchair when I have to walk more than 50 feet.
Using a walker to get around my house.
Have $80,000 in medical bills in just 4 days.
I now have so much respect for people who have mobility problems. I believe that I've always been compassionate, but there's certainly a difference in sympathy and empathy. It's hard. When washing your hands in the sink is an exhausting exercise. People always say "you're lucky, it could have been worse." That's true. But it could have been better. God, I hate when people say that. When you're obviously struggling to do mundane, every-day tasks. Trying to smile when you're in so much pain you can't stop shaking. And having enough energy to take a shower is an absolute blessing.
It's hard. My mom told me getting through this will take courage. And strength. And it's okay to feel bad for myself, but only for 10 minutes a day. No more. She's right. I've never been close to her. We've had a cold relationship since I can remember, but I've come to know I need her.
And that I need my friends. They've been so good. Helped me laugh about it. Helped push me around Barnes & Noble and ride scooters in Publix. Good friends really do show their colors in times of need. I've had ones that I thought were casual friends really pull thourgh. And best friends ignore me show they can't be bothered.
Trying to keep a positive spirit and make the most of it. Getting around during exams will be hard. But I know others have done it and do it everyday of their lives; and I have to take a bit of their strong character and know I can make it alone. And ask for help when I need it.
This is the hardest thing I have ever lived through. That sounds trite. This may seem like no big ordeal. But it is for me. I'm stubborn and independent and never one to trouble others.
But I can do it.
I have faith.
I have to.
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[19 Oct 2006|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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 productive |
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music |
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The Knife |
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How you treat your friends says almost everything about you.
Passing blame is the pasttime of the weak.
If you're not happy with things, then make changes yourself.
A true friend will approach you and tell you to your face if something is wrong.
Sometimes the people you trust the most will show their true colors.
But when you work really hard for something that you love, there is no greater feeling. When you know you're devoting yourself to taking care of others, you're doing the right thing. When you know that no matter what you do people will criticize you and take it in stride, there are few greater strengths.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't.
- eleanor roosevelt
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[13 Oct 2006|12:01am] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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bonfires in my backyard are B.A.M.F.
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[28 Apr 2006|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
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Ummmm.
I MOVE IN TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW.
St. Augustine. Get ready for a crazy summer.
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[17 Apr 2006|01:26pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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your love is like burnin fire on my soul - reggae |
] |
Countdown 2k6...
Days until school is out... 4
Days until I go home... 6
Days until I move into my house... 15!!!
damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
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[14 Apr 2006|01:41am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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Seriously. It only makes me laugh harder.
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[10 Apr 2006|09:19am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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"...On The Radio" Nelly Furtado |
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I cut my hair last night at 1:00am. I felt it was time for a change.
Graduation is soon. God, I'm going to miss her. You have no idea.
Head RA results today.... Remember, everthing happens for a reason.
The 2006-2007 Leadership Team has been finalized. THANK GOD.
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[24 Mar 2006|09:18am] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
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WHEW!
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| ANDDDDDDDD THEY'RE OFF! |
[19 Mar 2006|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 apprehensive |
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AHHHHHHHH.
Elections are tomorrow and Tuesday.
I need EVERYONE to help a brotha out and vote.
Baggett for President
Collins for VP
Cadiz for Treasurer
Harris for Secretary
You can vote Monday from 10 - 2 in front of Kenan or Tuesday from 5 - 9 in the Library. And you need your ID.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
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| Ahhhh... relief. |
[03 Mar 2006|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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under my thumb - the rolling stones |
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Isn't it wonderful how journaling and writing down all you feelings helps you put things in perspective?
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| YEAH, BOYYYYYYY |
[01 Jan 2006|01:30pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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My parents asking me what time I got in last night |
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Last night we went to the BareNaked Ladies concert for FREE. It was an AWESOME concert, we were on CNN, and everyone (including the band) counted down to 2006 and fireworks and confetti went on inside the Ice Palace. It was SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD. I has so much fun. I friggin love that band. And it was FREE. So then we went to a Tapas (appetizer) Bar around 1:30am and were there drinking multiple pitchers of Sangreia until 3am. Clare was VERY INTOXICATED. I didn't have much because I was driving. The owner kept offering us free drinks and no one ever asked for I.D. I was pissed because here I am, being offered all kinds of free drinks and I cant because I'm driving. Oh well. *RESPONSIBILITY TO THE RESCUE!*
Whew. And I got home at 4:45am. And I just woke up. And I'm going to sit around and do NOTHING today.
PS: I'm highly allergic to clothing starch. Who knew? Mmmm, this Calaminde lotion is pink and AWESOME.
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| Mama's back... |
[19 Dec 2005|02:26pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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the dryer in the laundry room |
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My Mom got back from Belgium late Saturday night. Now it's Monday afternoon and I'm sitting here on LiveJournal waiting for her to come home from the mall with my sister and her 2 (bratty, annoying, loud) kids. I can't stand being around them. They drive me nuts. She doesn't control them, and gets mad at me when I tell them to stop doing something. If you wont control your kids, someone else will... and you probably wont like how they do it since it's not their job to do so. I've just gotten so frustrated with children lately. Saturday I went to my aunts house for a kids Xmas party and there were 14 kids in her 3 bedroom house all under the age of 10 yelling, screaming, and running around. One day I'll like my own kids. But that'll be at least a decade from now, so no worries.
Where is mi madre? She is lost in the concrete jungle of Tampa. I haven't seen her since early august since I went to visit her and my step-dad in Belgium. They took me to Amsterdam and Rome too. That was killer.
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I thought i wanted to be a radio station manager, but who knows. You have to work in sales and promotions to get to that job and I hate pushing products and selling ad space. I absolutely hate it. Maybe I'll be a vet like I always wanted to be. Nah, I could never put animals to sleep without crying hysterically. Wuss. Maybe I'll take over my dad's photography business. One of the most prestigeous in the Tampa Bay area. He'd love that. Unfortunately, kissing the asses of General Schwartzcauff, the Glasier Family (owners of the Buccaneers and Manchester United), and General Tommy Franks isn't my cup of tea. They all have contracts with him to do their portraits. I just don't like them. And I bet they wouldn't like me cause I'm a girl. And an outspoken one at that. No, men like that like doing business with men. Too bad I bet half their fortunes they owe to women working behind the scenes.
So I have no ideas. Nothng I have a passion for besides Judaism and Music. I almost bought a gorgeous sterling silver menorah at Pottery Barn today. It was $70.00 so I'll wait for next Hanukkah. Ha.
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| Sometimes the world is so crazy, you just have to laugh |
[13 Dec 2005|09:30pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Blegh. I think I'm gonna puke. Maybe it was the left over chicken. Maybe it was something else.
This jogging (silent J) think is not all it's cracked up to be. I have this terrible pain in my abdomen 15 minutes into my workout every time I run. Is that normal? It hurts so bad I have to sit down so I don't throw up. I can't see that being normal. It's happened everytime. I don't know, maybe it's God's way of punishing me for being lazy.
My dad's in the kitchen right behind me as I'm writing this. Livejournal just isnt the same with your parents in close proximity. I worry about posting, and checking my facebook with them around. Worried they might see who I really am. Outspoken. Honest. Open to rousing yet controversial discussions.... I'm not the quiet little girl anymore... I just wish they could meet me.
My dad and I got into a small arguement over public schools taking 'Christmas' out of school. Everything is Happy Holiday's now. I made the comment that "they're just trying to respect EVERYONE and everyones religion." Boy, did THAT piss him off. I pointed out that we aren't christian. that was funny. he has no idea how into Judaism I am. One day I'll come home and tell him I've finally converted. Then he'll HAVE to say happy holidays to me. I'd just like to point out something the Daily Show mentioned. In case you didnt realize, there are 2 holidays coming up soon. Christmas and New Years. The English language requires the use of an S when there are 2, for example happy holidayS. Now, you COULD say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year but you probably HAVE SHIT TO DO. Therefore, we use Happy Holidays instead. Now do you understand the need for the phrase and why there is an S?
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[13 Dec 2005|02:09pm] |
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mood |
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concerned |
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I have offically nothing interesting to do.
I did find out today that both of my grandmothers have Alzheimers. My Nana isn't that bad... she's got a mild case (so far). My grandmother has it pretty bad. She repeats herself every 5 minutes, thinks im still in high school, and asks me how living in europe was (i never lived in europe). But at least she can function and remember my name.
My grandpa died 3 months ago. He was my last one. My papa (who was one of the most important people in my life) died 1 and a half a year ago. I feel like its slipping away from me. I cant get my grip on it anymore. I guess it's a part of life. It's just hard to watch.
I'm moving into my family's guest room so that my grandmother can live in our house with us. Its hard having to move all of my stuff. My dad and step-mom have been nicer since I got home and that helps.
Im waiting for that email from Ms. Tatem. That should be interesting.
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| Why am I so tired all the time?!? |
[12 Dec 2005|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Does anyone else notice that when you go home you're EXTREAMLY tired all the time? I find myself going to bed at 10pm every night. At school I was up until 2am, no problem.
I came home on Saturday... we left around 3pm, and got to Tampa at 6:15pm... that's pretty good time. Steph Borg came and spent the last few days with me at my house. It was awesome. I love her. and we were so into RENT all weekend....
oh god i am soooooooooo tireddddddddd
ill have to finish this later...
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| Let Checkouts Begin... |
[07 Dec 2005|02:39pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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"Suspicious Minds" - Elvis |
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Sitting here in my room waiting for the check-out rush to begin. I forgot I had to go get PIC cards to check people out. I was checking a resident out, and took her key and said "see ya later". then christopher informed me i had forgotten to get my PIC cards oops. she was still carrying stuff to her car. i caught her and filled everything out. i am the worst RA ever probably. whatever. my girls like me.
I had six exams. SIX. SIX. SIX. It's 666 for a reason. Because school hates me, that's why. I have one more. Tomorrow: 8am. Religions of the World. EASY.
I can't wait to go home. Kinda. Seeing my friends and mom will be nice. My grandmother is moving in with us. So I have to move into the guest room over break. Talk about TRAMATIC. Oh well. She needs her own bathroom more than I do I guess....?
I'm still crazy about him. Why can't I stop myself? I've tried so hard. I hate being so wrapped around his finger. He has no idea.
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ellieinurbellie's journal
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